Why don't calendars ever win arguments?

Archive / AUG 7

THE DAILY GROAN · AUG 7

Their days are always numbered.

GET TOMORROW'S JOKE

One fresh groan, delivered every morning.

What do you call a nervous javelin? Shakespeare.

What do you call a belt made of herbs? A waist of thyme.

Why did the barber win the race? He knew a shortcut.